These few days I've been extremely emotional and it's freaking me out. So school has officially started and everyone seems to know so much more than me. Or at least comprehend the lectures and tutorials better than me. Because while they're raising hands and asking/answering questions, I'm still struggling to understand what they're asking/saying.

So I do the usual. Worry that I can't make it in Law School (tears start forming), worry that I won't have enough time to complete my readings which is a hell load (tears start forming), worry that I can't understand what my teacher is saying and lag behind everyone else (tears start forming), well, you get the basic drift.

But I don't want my 4 years in Law to be like that. To have uncertainty is normal I would suppose but not to the extent where I'm governed by fear that I won't make it or having to hide the tears that come at night when I'm doing my usual bout of worrying.

My family knows that it's tough for me to adjust, to suddenly use that wooly old brain of mine. I already think my mother suspects I've been tearing up frequently as she tells me to take it easy and that if what I need is time, to put a stop to my Saturday activities. But that's precisely what I don't want to do. I don't want to have a life which only revolves around law, and if I have to give up talking to friends, watching TV, going for piano and especially going for cell, then life would pretty much be damnit boring. I shall attempt to strike that balance. I shall go on with my activites as much as I can, and if I realise that I can't cope, (amidst much tears again I suppose as seems to be the recurring theme) perhaps it really is time to lay my piano aside.

Off to read Neumann and cases. Fridays are workdays if Saturdays are to be piano and cell days.